Honest Take: It’s a Lonely Ride. On Unschooling, Trusting Your Instincts, and Choosing Your Child

I am unschooling, co-sleeping, and spending all day with my son. We are best friends. He tells me all his secrets. All he wants is to cuddle my hair and spend time with me. And he is eight years old.

But I did not start here. He went to nursery at nine months. Kindergarten at three. And then came the moment that changed everything.

The Moment That Changed Me

My three-year-old was crying for his life when I left him at his new kindergarten. His nervous system was fighting for survival: he did not understand I would pick him up four hours later. He was fighting as if I was leaving him forever.

And I still left.

I sat in the car and cried. I asked myself why. And the only answer I had was: because every mom I had ever spoken to told me this would happen. It is normal. It is part of the process. He just has to learn.

But in that moment, something in me could not accept it. Not as truth. Not anymore.

The Loneliness of Stepping Out

It is a lonely ride to step out of what everyone agrees on. When everyone around you shares the same belief, it starts to feel like truth. Saying “I see it differently” does not just invite disagreement: it invites doubt, worry, and sometimes genuine hostility.

The comments came. They still come. He needs other children. He is too attached. You cannot be everything for him. You will make it harder for him later.

And every time, I feel it hitting my core. Doubt. Because it would be so easy to override what I feel. So much simpler to go along with what the majority agrees is right.

What I Have Learned

Just because something is common does not mean it is true. Children who feel safe, held, and regulated learn that connection is safe. That trust in the world is available. That they are worth staying for.

I aim for my son to have deeper questions every day: because then I know he is curious, reflecting, and treated as an equally respected human being. That is my role as a mother.

And the version of motherhood I am living: unconventional, attachment-led, quietly radical: did not come from a book. It came from listening. To him. And to myself.

If you want to understand yourself more deeply and start seeing the patterns beneath your decisions, Beyond Your Type: The Enneagram is a good place to begin. It is available as a free PDF download or as a printed version for less than 10 euros on Amazon.